Binge Eating, Compulsive Overeating, Emotional Eating

What's the difference: Binge Eating Disorder, Compulsive Overeating and Emotional Eating? In honor of Eating Disorders Awareness Week, this question was addressed at the last Weighty Matters Group. The answer is not much. Binge Eating is characterized by eating large amounts of food in a short period of time without control. Compulsive overeating is usually referred to as a regular overindulgence in food, typically at meals. Compulsive overeaters and emotional overeaters eat in response to the same things binge eaters and bulimics do---stress, anxiety, depression, loneliness etc. This overeating leads to distress and quite often bingeing.

Some warning signs include:
*An obvious increase or decrease in weight not related to a medical condition.
*Abnormal eating habits such as severe dieting, ritualized mealtime behaviors, fear of dietary fat, lying about food or secretive bingeing.
*An intense preoccupation with weight and body image.
*Irritability, depression or mood swings.
*Compulsive or excessive exercise.

Professional treatment is usually recommended to understand and overcome the underlying causes, symptoms and behaviors. Please call me if you or someone you know shows signs of these behaviors.

Are You Ready to Change?

At the last Weighty Matters Group, we discussed the stages of change: Precontemplation, Contemplation, Preparation, Action and Maintenance. Participants identified a behavior to change, their current stage of change and strategies to move to the next stage. What do you want to change? Do you want to move more? Eat less sugar? Drink less alcohol? And... are YOU ready to change?

The following list includes Signs of Readiness for Change:
1. Decreased Resistance. You stop arguing, interrupting, denying, or objecting.
2. Decreased questions about the problem. You seem to have enough information about your problem, and stop asking questions. There is a sense of being finished.
3. Resolve. You appear to have reached a resolution, and may seem more peaceful, relaxed, calm, unburdened or settled.
4. Self-motivational statements. You make direct self-motivational statements.
5. Increased questions about change. You ask what you could do about the problem, how people change if they decide to, etc.
6. Envisioning. You begin to talk about how life might be after a change.
7. Experimenting. If you have had time to talk about how life might be after a change, you then begin experimenting with possible change approaches(that is going to a support group, walking a few days a week, reading literature on healthy behaviors).

Alot of my work with clients includes getting them ready for change. Please call me if you need support in getting ready. It is not easy to do this alone.

Happy New Year!!

With over thirty years of experience in the field of counseling, teaching and weight, I have collected many poems. This poem exemplifies the work that I do with my clients. Please consider these thoughts as we once again start a new year. I RESOLVE:

This year I resolve to free myself.
No longer will I be a slave to, or hide in the shadow of my extra pounds. I will step out into the sunlight and be the person I am. I will hold my head proudly and high, for what I am is good.

Never again will I try to conceal myself in dismal black; wearing only baggy trousers, louse overblouses, and dresses without shape.
I will wear the colors that complement my hair and complexion...(yes, even red).
I will choose styles that appeal to me and not clothes to "make me look thinner."

I will strive to make the self I am the best self, the most healthy self, that it can be. If I have a milkshake and cheeseburger on a night out, use dressing on my salad or eat waffles without feeling quilty, I will also work to include more nutritious foods in my eating pattern.

This year I will do all those things that I have wanted to do, but told myself I couldn't because I was too fat.
I will ride the white horse on the merry-go-round, go roller-skating, eat a chocolate ice cream cone on the beach.
If people smile behind their hands, I will pity them for not knowing that a good mind and a loving and generous heart are more important than the size of one's body.

I will not wear a long sweater on warm days.
I will find a more becoming style for my hair.
I will cross the room in front of people without cringing.
Come summer, I will buy a new bathing suit without a skirt, and maybe even a jogging suit.

ONCE AND FOR ALL I RESOLVE TO BE ME-AND BE GLAD THAT I AM.

By Ainsley Marker

Moving Away from Chaotic Holiday Eating to Spiritual Fullness

Last week at the Weighty Matters Group we discussed how to move away from chaotic holiday eating to spiritual fullness. To free oneself from the chaotic eating and obsession with food, it is important to cultivate Soulful Experiences. These will help us connect with a more meaningful life. Therefore, we addressed the following questions. How would you answer them?

1. Do you take time each day for quiet time and reflection?

2. Have you spent time in nature appreciating its beauty?

3. Do you give yourself time weekly to rejuvenate, rest and relax?

4. Can you name 5 things about yourself and your life for which you are
grateful?

5. Do you trust your intuition when making decisions and using your own
judgement?

6. Are you able to pay attention to only the moment you are in? What is it that
you see, hear, feel and smell?

7. Are you able to compliment yourself on your accomplishments, on what you
like about yourself, or a risk that you took that empowered you?

8. Can you describe what you believe in regarding your spiritual perspective?

9. Have you been of service to others in the last month?

10.Do you care for your physical body, the temple of your spirit?

These experiences can provide you with the inspiration to find "spiritual fullness" where you can begin to believe and trust in yourself and your abilities to move beyond "spiritual emptiness" and chaotic eating.

Happy Thanksgiving!!

Last week at the Weighty Matters group we continued our discussion of Staying on Track, that is, Relapse Prevention. One of the strategies in shifting our negative thoughts, is to be grateful. Hence, in the spirit of Thanksgiving, I share the following poem: A Thanksgiving Prayer by Samuel F. Pugh

"Oh God when I have food, help me to remember the hungry;
When I have work, help me to remember the jobless;
When I have a home, help me to remember those who have no home at all;
When I am without pain, help me to remember those who suffer.
And remembering, help me to destroy my complacency, bestir my
compassion.
And be concerned enough to help; By word and deed, those who cry out for
what we take for granted.
Amen."

May these words be food for the soul and help us to know that we are not alone in our struggles. For it is in being grateful and in giving that we receive.

Relapse Prevention

Last week at the Weighty Matters Group, the topic was Staying on Track which is another way of saying RELAPSE PREVENTION. The question is how to keep a SLIP from becoming a FALL and a FALL from GIVING UP? The key answer is to realize that you are not perfect. Mistakes are normal. Mistakes are not a sign of failure or that you are bad or that you have no self control. Rather, mistakes can be used as opportunities to learn.

However, so many of us struggle with getting healthier because of our negative reaction to mistakes. For example, when we have a slip by eating something that takes us away from being healthy, we might think, "I blew it, I may as well keep on eating." This may then lead to a fall, that is, an eating binge. Then another negative reaction, thinking "All is lost, I'll never be healthy. What's the use?" Finally, there is a giving up and completely abandoning any healthy behaviors.

To prevent a relapse and stay on track, therefore, it is important to become aware of your thinking. If it is negative.....to stop oneself....breathe....and see how you can view your behavior differently and more positively so that you are more likely to stay on track now and for the rest of your life. On November 19th at the Weighty Matters Group we will practice responding positively to slips and falls. Please come join us.

Eating Mindfully

The Weighty Matters Group experienced Eating Mindfully last week. We also discussed the difficulties in eating mindfully. TV, work and home stress, thoughts of the to do list, technology, eating triggers and other distractions pull us away from being mindful. However, as I explained on my post of June 19th, it is imperative to Pause in the Present Moment and Be Mindful so that we may become fully alive and awake to life.

Mindful eating is essential for overcoming overeating. It slows us down so we may notice our hunger and fullness signals as well as the taste, smell and pleasure of the food. In addition, several studies show that we assimilate nutrients from food more readily and metabolize foods more effectively when we eat mindfully.

To prepare for mindful eating, create or find a quiet, attractive place for mealtimes and then begin the following steps:
1. Make yourself as comfortable as possible and take a few deep breaths.
2. A centering prayer may be helpful. For example, nuns and monks recite this:
"This food is the gift of the universe---the earth, the sky and much hard
work. May we live in a way that is worthy of this food. May we
transform our unskillful states of mind, especially that of greed. May we
eat only foods that nourish us and prevent illness. May we accept this food
for the realization of the way of understanding and love."
3. Are you tuned into your hunger and appetite?
4. Look and observe the food's shape, color and aroma.
5. As you take the first bite, attend to every sensation on your lips, tongue and
the roof of your mouth. How are you feeling as you are eating?
6. Are you eating slowly and savoring each bite? Are you chewing thoroughly
and concentrating on the taste, texture and temperature? Are you checking
your level of fullness and satiety?

Take as much time as you need. The slower your practice, the more likely it is that you will experience the state of Being in the Moment. Here's what begins to happen:

*You enjoy food more fully.

*You notice how food effects you and you are less likely to overeat.

*You begin to become more aware of other aspects of your inner life,

including your emotional and spiritual sides.

Overcoming Barriers to a Healthy Lifestyle

The Weighty Matters Group had a lively discussion last week about overcoming barriers to a healthy lifestyle. As a follow-up, it is important to note that barriers are not excuses. Calling barriers excuses minimizes the reality of how difficult they can be to overcome. It is more helpful to validate barriers and then work to remove them.


Which barrier is foremost on your mind?

1. Time-We cannot create more hours, but where can we find the time?

2. Money-We spend our money on what we value. How much do you value yourself?

3. Lack of support-Do you feel alone? Is someone close to you a trigger to eat?

4. Health-Do you have a health issue that limits you?

5. Hate to Move-What are your early memories and beliefs about movement?

6. Hate nutritious food-What are your early memories and beliefs about eating and food?

7. Mood-Is depression and eating a ritual? What are early warning signals?

8. Uninformed-What information is needed in regards to your health?

9. Unmotivated-What motivates us today, may not tomorrow. Do you need "New Motivators?"


Strategies to overcome barriers. Which one will motivate you?

1. Make it Fun! Fun! Fun!

2. Set small small small daily, weekly goals.

3. Complete a Pro/Con list of accomplishing your goal and post it.

4. Progress gradually....and give yourself time to feel the benefits of change.

5. Use a diary to monitor progress.

6. Schedule time for your health goals.

7. Visualize yourself as a vibrant, healthy person.

8. Change routines as needed to keep your life interesting and fun.

9. Consistency and Enjoyment is most important.

10.Find a supportive partner.

11.Create other measures of success: Feeling better, Less stressed, More alert, Energetic.

12.Put relapse prevention strategies in place.

13.Breathe and shift your thinking from negative to positive.

14.Prioritize YOU-and learn to say "NO".

15.Get support-Weighty Issues! Weighty Matters! Weighty Issues! Weighty Matters!


Barriers are real and change over time. However, your health is vital. Therefore, it is important to be vigilant and persistent in facing barriers with the strategies that increase your confidence, knowledge and skills.

A Life Worth Living

The following story was written by a client. It will give you a sense of one person's process towards health and healing.

I finally reached out for help, after years of suffering with issues related to food. I was unhappy, emotionally numb, and the world seemed to be a difficult and unsafe place. I was struggling with the relationships in my life and with myself. I thought if only I could learn to control the food I would be happy. I soon realized I was using food to medicate myself, eating to numb the pain and to block the hopelessness.

Joyce patiently listened to my unhappiness; we slowly built a trusting relationship. I treaded cautiously; she respected my resistance, understood my unwillingness, and gently encouraged me to express myself. In the beginning I could not tolerate the pain and be open to my experience. Joyce gently guided me with love and compassion, teaching and counseling until I was finally strong enough to take an emotional risk.

I began to open up to the pain, to explore and experience the pain. The pain had been buried and covered by years of disordered eating. The pain felt so frightening, and unbearable. How could I let myself feel? I was terrified.

The vulnerability I experienced during this phase of treatment was excruciating. I wanted a quick fix; I needed to feel better immediately. I finally realized I could not cover the pain with food anymore. This was going to take work, a commitment, and faith that I could heal. At times the vulnerability became unbearable. I wanted to leave – to quit therapy. Joyce encouraged me to express these thoughts and feelings and supported me unconditionally during this difficult time.

As I began to learn to experience my inner world and take care of myself, I became emotionally stronger. Gaining strength from Joyce’s confidence, I began to keep a journal, took mindfulness meditation and Reiki classes, and explored my spirituality. I incorporated daily physical activity into my routine, and worked with other healthcare providers to learn good nutritional habits. In addition, I worked to strengthen my assertiveness skills and develop reasonable boundaries. I was working to create balance in my life and to trust I could take care of myself. All this hard work resulted in more self-confidence.

As my confidence grew, the need for food diminished. There was no going back to a life where I needed to numb myself with food to live. While life is full of challenges I am learning how to cope by expressing my feelings and caring for myself.

As I learned to trust Joyce I learned to trust myself. Being able to trust myself has changed my life. I feel a sense of freedom, security, and competence that I have never experienced before. Discovering my internal strength, my ability to listen and care for myself has led to the beginning of a life where I can make decisions that are good for my health and happiness-creating a life worth living.

A Prescription for Financial Blues & Stress Eating

Are you are worried about money? Maybe even fearful you will lose it all? Are you affected by the media, and feel there is no hope for the economy? Do you dislike talking about money? All this worry and fear can lead to stress which leads to overeating which leads to poor health. Therefore, it is important to develop a peaceful relationship with money. If you are willing to take the time and do the hard work, then the rewards will be less fear and anxiety. In turn, the stress eating will subside and your health will improve.


There are many steps in the process. However, my prescription includes what I consider the five most important. Step one is to get in touch with your first memories around money...and what you were taught about money. For example, one woman shared with me the embarrassment she felt after taking an item from a store as a very young child. Her parents made her return it. Shameful feelings followed, but there was no discussion of them. Therefore, she struggles to understand how that experience effects her even now as an adult woman.

Step two is to breathe a deep belly breath. Perhaps move your body in a loving way and breathe as you do so. Get the oxygen flowing throughout your body so that you will be open to new more positive ways of thinking. When you are ready, talk with a support person such as myself. Through counseling, one can understand how early thoughts and experiences are getting in the way of a fuller, more joyful life.

Step three is to create new more positive ways of thinking. For example, a woman experiencing a divorce was so scared that she thought she was going to be a "bag lady". The worry and fear of tomorrow was making her sick. However, through support she changed her thinking. Her new thought is, "Today I have food to eat, clothes to wear and a place to live. I am alright." The more she repeated the new thought to herself, the more she believed it and the more she began to relax and let go of the stress of the future.

Step four includes humor. Humor is so healing. In the moment, see if there is a way to laugh about the situation. It will bring some peace.

Step five is to focus on the abundance of life and being grateful for it. For example, a man who did not work for money wrote "I received a call from my mother who is 82, lucid and healthy. She talked about how beautiful her day had been. Then when we hung up, the phone rang again. My six year old grandson, filling my heart with joy, asked if we could go to the beach. Of course I said we could." This man was rich. His mother had good health, a hug from his grandson, a walk on the cool sand on summer mornings, a family dinner, laughter in the living room, the beauty of the city where he lived--what blessings! They are immeasurable, and more valuable than anything money can buy.

When we live in fear and worry, we give our power away. Take your power back by taking the time to do these steps. Let go of your fears and get in touch with your wisdom. Then you will make the best decisions for yourself with money, with food, and in all areas of your life.